Talk: Mar. 9, 2025
Talk of the Town: Did you know that it's illegal to drive around without pants? by Mark LaFlamme
Waddaya know, Joe?
My friends, I have identified the greatest invention of all time in our ongoing war against winter. Behold, the Snow Joe Snow Broom snow obliterator, and give thanks for its invention. The Snow Joe is just a long pole and a wide slab of hard foam that reaches for the snow on your windshield and basically growls "Come off of there, you!" And then proceeds to vanquish every flake of snow on your car, truck or horse in one great tug. The Snow Joe is so useful, I'd be willing to write a 5,000-word essay on its greatness if that would somehow convince the manufacturers that maybe, just maybe, the Snow Mark would be a better name for it?
They really ARE out to get me
So, after 10 or 15 years of not getting pulled over by police anywhere at any time, I got nailed TWICE Monday night and in the span of a half-hour. One cop brought me to the curb on Walnut Street, another got me on Lisbon Street, near Burger King. I swear, it's my truck that riles them. It's so ornery a rig, the Titan, that police must assume I HAVE to be an outlaw.
In an unrelated matter
Did you know that it's illegal to drive around without pants?
Dump Trump
That whole controversy over graffiti in Lewiston was just delightful. If the city crews had had just one more bucket of paint, we could have had the word "Rump" to look at for an entire day. My friends, doesn't that one word kind of encapsulate everything these days? It's almost Zen.
All that glitters is gold
So, I got my new dental crown and I've got to tell you. I didn't realize the thing would be sparkling gold. I'm so freaked out by this, I fear that every time I open my mouth, a miner 49er is going to jump in there and start digging. Since this gold tooth is my greatest piece of wealth to date, I've taken to sleeping with my head inside a safe. Which is kind of nice because the clowns can't get me in there.
Spring back
My friends, don't forget to set your clocks back today. I don't why I have to keep reminding you of this, but on Sunday, March 9, the clocks go back an hour. Back, I say. Just do it, it will amuse me.
That stunning thing that happened at the Oscars
Ha! Fooled you. As IF I watch the Oscars. If I were to tune into that kind of thing, I wouldn't be allowed to drive the Titan anymore and my whole outlaw persona would be out the window.
